As a part of my Worship Arts class this year, we were assigned to advertise a church using satire. My professor wanted us to write a blog using false loves to attract people to our imaginary church. So, in this blog I will be highlighting the ways I have seen, and currently see, churches trying to catch people's attention using methods other than their beliefs, denomination, and the Gospel itself. Just to clarify again, this is not a real advertisement for a real church, simply just using satire to highlight things I've seen in the Church.
Come on down to the New Church! It is a place that is growing rapidly in numbers and campuses. It is a place where are services are big, loud, and exciting with an amazing band and an amazing speaker! It's like going to a concert every Sunday! We have three services a day, two in the morning and one at night. There are three different church campuses to choose from, so we have options that can fit any schedule. We have lots of different activies for all ages. We have Kids Church, Youth Group, College Church, Women's Study, Men's Retreats, and even groups for new grandparents. Here at New Church, we just want you to find your true purpose, feel like you belong, and help you become the best version of yourself possible. You will feel changed and feel satisfied in this church community. You won't regret coming, it will be the beginning of your new and beautiful testimony.
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